My Home in KT!!

Hey hey just want to intro my room here in Kuala Terengganu!

Small but comfortable and cooling thats for sure hehe

The entrance to my room!!

My messy bed which i clean hmm maybe once a year hehe and the small faithful bookshelf where i put all my bed time story books hehe

















The ladder to my bed and my messy stuffs hehe prove that I am studying..hmm actually I study in the hall hehe















View from my bed! Two trophies one from captain ball the other from futsall..My 3 mini bookshelf on the side too!
















The best view of all when sleeping and the lights are off!! Also my air-con hehe from my floor its really cold!!

The city of KT from my sleeping view hehe and when raining WOW!

Tada!! Just intro on my room here in KT..indeed at first i thought it was too small but just to find out it was just right and i love it so much!!!

Late at night!

Well eventually it would lead to this.....the finals!! Hehe
2 more days and will be sitting my posting exam after that semester exam..

Heart pounding but still have to study..
Fingers crossed but still panicking..
Studying hard but mind still wandering,
In the end sit in the hall but regretting.. XD!!

Ok back to studies!! :p

Who I Am by Casting Crowns

Who Am I Lyrics
Artist (Band): Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapour in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours.
I am Yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapour in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapour in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours (3X)

Whom shall I fear
whom shall I fear
I am Yours...
I am Yours.

Song:Who Am I..by Casting Crown

What does it takes for a man to realise all his bitterness, anger and his denial in life? A apology away that's the answer..

I am a man with few words and its been quite some times I have written something hehe there are times I wanted to but then hmm maybe I forgotten XD!
For the past week I found a great realisation in my life..I found out within my shell of confidence and everything was ok, I was actually denying myself of the truth..I felt so angry at myself , my life, my family, my friends and ultimately God Himself..I mean I have an ok life but coming from a broken family was a big blow for me honestly, my dad being injured just does not seem to help plus everything that comes after that seems to bring me down..

I was angry...why my dad have to climb and not listen to us that day, why I was not at home that day, why everything have to happen to me, why must I take on so much responsibility while others just cruise in life, why must I worry about so many things, why God why..
You really do not want to know how long I was asking that question..Quite long actually, too long..

Today I was involve in a sketch in church acting as ironically Jesus..At first when I got the role I was saying to myself how can I act as the One who I blame for almost everything in my life..I really wanted to say no but however no..deep down in my heart God was asking me to play the role that I was really clear..I was confused

I know during this few months God have been miraculously been providing to me and guiding me even though in my condition..Seriously its really very obvious..there was once I was so worry bout my financial problem and I prayed for a specific amount that I need and ask God to help, the next day I was blessed by someone with the exact amount..:O
Nothing to say..Not only that I was also praying once for healing for my dad so he could walk and the next day when I called my brother he was already trying to walk by himself with a walker..:O
The list goes on and on but in my stubbornness I really did not see all this as something to be proud off but still blame God for everything..

Last Thursday, I was too free I guess I started looking for new songs to hear and this song just came to my mind because I remembered a sketch done during the Re-Writable Rally in 2008..As I listen to the lyrics I broke down in tears literally..It said of especially the chorus I was the flower..I was literally down, broken and bitter with life but who am I that God would still come and rescue me without me saying thank you and still continue to catch me each time I fall..Its like a rebellious kid who scolds the father for everything but when problems come he was terrified, petrified and totally useless..this is when the father steps in again and help me only to be scolded again after that..

I guess I was pretty stupid but my heart was so harden..harden by the fact that I was bottling up everything and it became to a point so concentrated that it made me numb to my feelings..

As today I was acting as Jesus in the sketch it really reflected upon me in my life I was Richard ( The other main actor hehe). It was so well in the beginning but was so devastated in the middle by everything in life..And to act as Jesus I saw was He saw..In the sketch Jesus was calling out on Richard the whole time as he falls into a temptation..without fail during the whole time He called and called but he did not listen..and in the end when all have failed, I did not thought of suicide like in the sketch thank God but I was lifeless..all I can see during the whole sketch was I was Richard and Jesus saved me every single time I was at the edge..
Yet in my right mind I could not say a proper thanks and realise all He has done to me..

Well I did, but the first word I want to say is not thank you but sorry..Sorry God for everything I blamed You for and every tears You cried in behalf of my disobedience..Second, thank you God for everything in my life, everything that had happened, will happen or to happen..

If I were to realise this earlier much time and tears would not have been wasted..

Indeed if one advice I want to give is this don't think you are alone God is always there and please do find someone where you can share your heart with..Someone wise and if I may add, someone who fear God because there is no man more wise than to fear His creator..

P.S. if you have the time do listen to this songs I hope it will bless you too!

Thank you Jesus for Who Am I but Your's :)

BaTaH!!

Hehe what does Batah actually mean leh? Its actually a hebrew word that means “trust in, trust or rely upon” or “feel safe, trust, be full of confidence” in God.

Its actually almost like "having faith" just more glamour la hehe I choose this as my blog account name its because in my life really I can say many things I did not think I deserved it but somehow I got it hehe

Its like if you look back at your life, all the things you gone through and the last thing you will expect is you are now here where you are today..Especially for the last 2 months when my dad got into a bad accident and suddenly everything is on my shoulder..before this I thought being a parent was easy as you work and come back (yeah I hope it was that easy) but to really have it all in 1 go O.o''' its overwhelming but I thank God He brought me through it all and I learn as I grow..don't we all?

Well I certainly learn alot and is still learning in my life..all I can say is that in those times when I was so tired and in loneliness I put my faith in God to see me through and time and time again He provide and guided my whole family :)

So if you are in the midst of a problem or disappointments, i cant really say don't worry coz during when I was in a situation like that also I cant stop worrying hehe but all I can say is that throughout the whole thing the time when I feel most relax is when I was praying and it REALLY helps if you talk to someone you feel comfortable even though you assume that he don't understand your situation hehe

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you" Psalm 37:5

Late Night!!

ARG!!! So many things to do but so so little time..Actually to think of it 24 hours should be enough..according to statistics, it is still said on average people still sleep 8 hours per day and i barely get 6 hours 0.0'''
Hmm I think on average I dont see tv much but only online but also bout maximum 2 hours but why still I dont have time to complete my studies..I think most probably like the saying 'study smart not hard'..I always do study long hours but the frustrating thing is that I cant seem to remember them all fully after like 2 days..I am currently trying mind map and writting and testing myself just hope it works..

Oh ya if anyone who reads this got tips on how to spend my time wisely and not waste it too much PLEASE share hehe

H1N1

O-o''' Today got 1 H1N1 patient in hospital while I was doing my ward duty..at first we did not know it was confrim once we knew it we were STUNNED!!! hehe we went outside the ward to wait for our lecturer to come and she bought N95 mask 4 us..so guys anybody reading this dont take it lightly ok but most important is your own immunity..Eat well and sleep well!!

Tired!

Today was soooo tiring but able to went through my whole class without sleeping hehe :)
Will Gambate not to sleep in class and try to absorb as much as possible..Felt very guilty also when Yoke Yeng scold me why I sleep in class always coz she said my dad work so hard to pay my uni fees and at first i thought I can study better at night so I think sleeping at class is ok la not like I slept the entire session..but yesterday I can to realise after doing my devotion that its all about balance..no matter night or day both I can study just if I try and adjust..rather than sleeping in class and get 'adviced' by lecturers :p I rather try to adjust my study time and succeed in that manner..hehe
So will try hope I can do it and get adjusted hehe

Off to hospital now!!!

HAHA!!

My first blog entry!! Don't know whether can update everyday anot hehe
Maybe at times fell emo then I'll write la hehe